One thing that everyone may not know about me (although many that
know me well probably do) is that I really, REALLY like consistency. Not to say
that I necessarily fear change for change's sake, but I tend to be a bit of a
pessimist, and therefore see disruption in routine as an opportunity for
danger. Now, "danger" as I see it is very abstract, but essentially
means anything that could cause my fate to be realigned and therefore
orchestrate my tragic death. Yep. Now I realize that this seems a bit extreme,
ok, a few bits extreme, but I am always worried about dying before I feel that
I have made any real accomplishments in my life, so I am always worried that my
life is not going in the direction of success. It's something that I think
about way more than I should.
Therefore, when I am presented with an
opportunity for change, I am usually pretty apprehensive. However, lately
I have been trying to welcome certain changes into my life. I am trying to push
myself to say "no" to less opportunities, and instead just start
giving things a shot. Now, you might be thinking to yourself but hey, why should you rock the
boat if the course is steady? Well,
that's just it: the course isn't steady at all. I am just so averse to change
sometimes that I will allow myself to be pigeonholed into bad situations for
fear of what might come next. It's very much a "better the devil that you
know than the one you don't" type of thought process. It's kept me in bad
schools, bad jobs, even bad relationships. I tend to be more afraid of what bad
things MAY happen if I change rather than focusing on the greater possibility
that things might change for the better. In essence, it's a mental booby
trap.
What I am getting is that that I am making
a conscious effort to be better at welcoming change into my life, and not
distrusting it from the start. It's kindof like a new neighbor moving in next
door. You might worry about what an awful experience their living next to you
might bring about, but you never know. Perhaps they might turn into your new
best friend, or a love interest, or the person that someday saves your life. If
you never introduce yourself to them, you never introduce yourself to a whole
new world of possibility.
So, with that being said, I would like to
take this time to formally introduce myself: Hello Change, my name is
Adam. Nice to meet you. Please come in, won't you?
*Photo above: The reflection of a setting
sun against some buildings here in DC. There's nothing like the magic of the
sun's rays at golden hour.
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