One thing that everyone may not know about me (although many that know me well probably do) is that I really, REALLY like consistency. Not to say that I necessarily fear change for change's sake, but I tend to be a bit of a pessimist, and therefore see disruption in routine as an opportunity for danger. Now, "danger" as I see it is very abstract, but essentially means anything that could cause my fate to be realigned and therefore orchestrate my tragic death. Yep. Now I realize that this seems a bit extreme, ok, a few bits extreme, but I am always worried about dying before I feel that I have made any real accomplishments in my life, so I am always worried that my life is not going in the direction of success. It's something that I think about way more than I should.
Therefore, when I am presented with an opportunity for change, I am usually pretty apprehensive. However, lately I have been trying to welcome certain changes into my life. I am trying to push myself to say "no" to less opportunities, and instead just start giving things a shot. Now, you might be thinking to yourself but hey, why should you rock the boat if the course is steady? Well, that's just it: the course isn't steady at all. I am just so averse to change sometimes that I will allow myself to be pigeonholed into bad situations for fear of what might come next. It's very much a "better the devil that you know than the one you don't" type of thought process. It's kept me in bad schools, bad jobs, even bad relationships. I tend to be more afraid of what bad things MAY happen if I change rather than focusing on the greater possibility that things might change for the better. In essence, it's a mental booby trap.
What I am getting is that that I am making a conscious effort to be better at welcoming change into my life, and not distrusting it from the start. It's kindof like a new neighbor moving in next door. You might worry about what an awful experience their living next to you might bring about, but you never know. Perhaps they might turn into your new best friend, or a love interest, or the person that someday saves your life. If you never introduce yourself to them, you never introduce yourself to a whole new world of possibility.
So, with that being said, I would like to take this time to formally introduce myself: Hello Change, my name is Adam. Nice to meet you. Please come in, won't you?
*Photo above: The reflection of a setting sun against some buildings here in DC. There's nothing like the magic of the sun's rays at golden hour.
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