Between thinking myself and talking to a few friends that know me the best, I have come up with three possible (and totally acceptable) reasons as to why he may not want to be with me or thought that he did not:
1. He doesn't like me, personality wise: If he thought that he liked me when I wasn't being myself (ie trying to be some kind of Rico Suave slicked up asshole) and then thought that we did not mesh once i started to go back to myself, then he may just feel like we don't click romantically but doesn't know how to tell me and yet still salvage a friendship.
2. He has some sort of medical/physical drawback like being HIV positive or has some other sort of STD: If this is the case, then maybe that's why he is afraid of being with me, because he doesn't know how I would react to that, which is very valid because I have never been in this sort of situation before, so even I don't know how I would react when actually faced with it.
3. He doesn't find me sexually satisfying: Now although the few times we got together i had little hints that he was enjoying himself, and I was enjoying myself, i know that there were times when he felt that i was not that into it, and the first time it did get a bit awkward at times, so maybe I am just not giving him the kind of sex that he feels that he needs in a relationship. Now if this is the case, I totally understand if he wants to just stop where we are, but if he is willing to keep exploring each other, I am definitely interested in that.
Now to me, any of these three reasons are acceptable to me, and I want to make sure that he knows that I really mean that. So the next time that I get to talk to him face to face (i hate having serious conversations about possibly sensitive issues over the phone, and i refuse to do them via text messaging back and forth; i need to see the way that my words are being received and i want to see his reactions to the things I am saying so that I can read his expressions so that I know what may need further explanation) i will bring up these 3 possibilities and see if any of those are the reasons. If so, then we can talk about them and see if they can be resolved, with time. I think that when I was in this situation 4 years ago I was too eager to just be with the guy, not taking time to think about whether or not it felt right, or what i wanted. But 4 years later I have a better assessment of my own personal worth in these situations, and I realize that if both of us are not happy then it is not a good relationship. So, best case scenario I will get to know him more and we will grow closer romantically, and worst case scenario we are either newfound friends, or we part ways before we cause each other unnecessary pain. So, I think that we are in a good position. All I can do at this point is wait and see. I don't want to blow out the fire while the embers are just starting to glow, but i am willing to stop trying if we can't even cause a spark. At this point, all i can do now is wait and see.